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GRAND-FRIEND Q. What is the role of grandparents? A. To be a "grand-friend", and not some doting person that talks baby talk, and gives the little ones junk food. If every young person had a good grandparent, it would be a wonderful gift of security. Healthy old people have patience, and the young are grateful to benefit from their wisdom, experience and friendship. A child and an older person have so much to give each other and their relationship would be mutually nourishing. In a world that assaults children, these children appreciate the nice influence that the grand-friends have over parents, as these older people, in most cases, possess the skills necessary to deal with different situations. Children are severely mistreated beginning with the period of gestation until they become mistreated adults. During these unstable times the presence of mature, wise grand-friends would be very valuable. Children need security and support, and they must be free to develop and choose. There is not much support in the present social setup. Children are not encouraged to be different and all effort seems to be made, to create linear thinking and a herd mentality. Children need help to create an environment for their journey. The parents are the ones who should guide the children, but unfortunately the parents are conventional in their thinking and have been influenced by their parents and grandparents. In addition, there is usually some religion involved, the intention of which may be fine, but in practice, it disregards the child's innate spirituality. So, when children have difficulties dealing with their parents' ways, a wise grand-friend can be a great mediator. This is a great and a very rewarding opportunity because the very young and the very old need each other, and a relationship like this needs to be lived and enjoyed. It is a child's rite of passage and, as a matter of fact, it is an old person's rite of passage as well. Yes, indeed, a grandparent could relieve a lot of pain and explain away sadness. The need for an older brother and sister to be a grand-friend is all important. All the very best, |